Here am I Lord; Send me

Starting as far back as I can remember I used to feel that I was born for a very important reason. This is taking for granted all of God's children are here for His reasons and all reasons are important. Truly, with much conviction, I knew in my heart God had big plans for me. What qualifies as "big plans"? I couldn't tell you. But my confidence in a personal calling never wavered even though the calling I was sure of was shrouded in mystery. I never knew without doubt what God had in store for me. But I knew it was specific and I was prepared to follow the instructions to the letter. In my mind, I was simply waiting on Him.

Somewhere along the line, the gut feeling that I was being called by God, for His purpose, started to fade. I'm not sure when the Holy Spirit loosed His grip on me but I know without doubt I felt the absence of His hand earlier this week. The realization that I could no longer hear God's calling shook me to the core. The silence was deafening.

As I sang along to a new favorite song, the words laid heavy on my heart. The message was unmistakable. We, as Christians fail often. But often, the failure doesn't come in like a lion. The failure begins with compromise and our convictions slowly begin to fade. Before we know it, we are floundering, if not drowning. With little care for spiritual matters that pertain to the quiet moments between our heart and God's heart, our spirit begins to die. My voice disappeared when I began to comprehend I could no longer feel the pull of God on my will. My heart broke. How did I get here? When did I become so complacent? When did I fade?

I receive daily devotionals via my email. I signed up for the online delivery because I thought it might be more convenient than having to make time to actually sit down and read the Scripture. Of course my choice of convenience has turned into a choice of neglect. I receive the emails but I rarely read them. And when I do read them, I rarely meditate on them. Prayer is absent from my daily life and I am ashamed to admit it doesn't bother me like it should. The same week that God broke my heart through a song, I received three devotional messages that dealt with the call of God. "Loved but Lost" on Sunday. "Called for God's Purpose" on Monday. "Living in God's Calling" on Tuesday. I didn't read them. I didn't want to. I didn't have to. The title told me what I needed to hear. Don’t worry; my plan is to read them, soon. This same plan includes a reconnection attempt with my Lord and Savior. Though it is not deserved, I will pray for another dose of grace and mercy. And I will open my heart, fully, to His calling. I bring up the devotional messages to point out that God is reaching out to me once again. He is not through with me, though I have been unconsciously through with Him for years.

Aside from my shame and brokenness, my heart is glad. Glad that God still speaks to me, though I have ignored Him and deliberately shut Him out through my apathy. My heart leapt in my chest when I recognized God was speaking to me through a song, through devotion, through my faith. He is pulling me closer though my sinful will constantly fought against Him. He is still knocking on the door though I had grown deaf to the sound. I am glad my Lord is louder than my own voice. I am glad my God will not give up on me. I am glad my Father loves me more than I love myself. I am glad my Savior will not let me squander this gift of life He has given.

This brings me to a crossroads...and my point. Though I am still unsure of what God may be calling me to do or where God may be calling me to go, I am ready. Mentally accepting and willing to hear; I am ready to follow. Spiritually I need work. And that is where the simple act of reading the devotions and talking to God come into play. My relationship with God has suffered to the point of extinction thanks to my arrogance and disregard. I must, as a child, learn to crawl again. I must turn to God first, not last. I must make my connection with God the only priority. The rest, the details, are up to God to reveal in due time. He may have me stay where I am for the next 50 years. He may send me to places I've only heard of. No matter what God has in store for me, I now remember and accept that it is about Him. It's not about me at all. This plan, this “big plan” that God has meticulously designed for me is to serve Him. How did I lose sight of that? When did I mistake the truth for lies? When did I fade? No matter; I am my Father’s child. I am forgiven. I am here to do His work.

Yes, the feeling that God has something big in store for me is starting to return. The idea that I am here for a specific reason is becoming real again. The knowledge I was created for His purpose is reaffirmed. This, I am thankful for. Though I did much to drown out the voice of the Holy Spirit, I failed. I hear His voice clearly now and He asks if I'm listening. He asks if I am willing. He asks me to follow Him. I can think of no better response than, "Here am I Lord; Send me."

Lord, protect my heart from getting lost again.

A Mother's Greatest Gift

The greatest gift a mother can give her children is instruction about faith principles. Do your youngsters see godly precepts lived out in your words and choices? Parents are a child's first spiritual advisors. However, if moms and dads do not instruct young people, someone else will. We absolutely cannot neglect our responsibility to train up our kids in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6).

Each person comes into the world as a "blank slate" that over time develops a belief system--a grid that filters everything the mind takes in. A child who has been prayed over and taught God's ways will see the world as it truly is. But one who's been programmed by secular culture or another religion will view life as he or she wishes it to appear--or through someone else's tinted lens.

Pastors and Sunday school teachers can help to form a child's grid, but they cannot do all the work. It is the responsibility of parents to invest whatever time, patience, and love are necessary to grow boys and girls into godly men and women. Teach them biblical principles, talk about the Lord and His ways, and show them what a righteous life looks like by living one. In other words, be the kind of believer that you hope your child will become.

Sending a child into the world without a biblical foundation is like throwing him into a lion's den without weapons or armor. Little ones cannot discern truth from error because their grid systems are immature. Parents must defend children's minds against the world's onslaught until they are ready to take over the challenge themselves.

Deuteronomy 6:1-7

In Touch Ministries