Sunday, September 28, 2008

What Caused The Economic Crisis? Watch This!

What Caused The Economic Crisis? Watch This!

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My own heart's desires

Cowboy Take Me Away - by Martie Seidel

I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly

I wanna sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
On a pillow of bluebonnets
In a blanket made of stars

Oh it sounds good to me I said

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and
Closer to you closer to you

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall

I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile

Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and
Closer to you closer to you

I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly
Oh it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to heaven above and
Closer to you closer to you
Closer to you
Cowboy take me away.
Closer to you

Friday, September 19, 2008

T.G.I.F.

It's Friday! The only thing better than being in downtown Greenville on a cool, crisp Friday afternoon would be strolling Main Street USA, Disney World, Orlando Florida. I am in an exceptional mood this afternoon and I have no rhyme or reason for such. Granted I'm always in a somewhat happy, laidback mood; however today I'm downright giddy. And I can't help but marvel at this fact when you take into consideration it's not a payday Friday, I have no big plans for the evening, local news has been downright terrifying as of late, my car has only 1/2 a tank of gas left, and left shoe is forming what I believe to be a small blister on my heel. None of this matters. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's by the grace of God I have a Pollyanna outlook on this world. Perhaps I am blessed with a simple mind and therefore I am not bothered as much as others. I can't explain it. But I am grateful. I walked up the street a few minutes ago and couldn't help but smile as the wind blew through my hair. I stopped to converse with a dog and then went on my merry way. Some might question my mental capacity because of the goofy smile on my face. Then again, some might question that regardless.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Irony

I just filled up my little Jeep with gas on the way to work this morning. My "little" Jeep took just over 18 gallons of this liquid gold to get the needle all the way to "F". This, my first purchase on the pay check that was just deposited into my account this morning, totaled out at $70.21. No. I'm not kidding. I don't kid about such matters. I'm faced with the realization that because I chose to fill up today might very well prevent my grocery shopping tomorrow. And as I pumped my tank full, and watched the price tag roll more and more quickly to an astronomical figure, I also watched a CNN report on the 6 inch television embedded in the pump. The report? It was on high gas prices.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Little fat kittens

Here I sit, at 6:00 pm, at my desk. My workday was supposed to end about an hour ago yet here I am. To be honest, I'm not in any hurry to leave tonight. I know that as soon as I grab my computer, load up my back like a pack-mule, lock down my desk, head to the elevator (which will take approximately 6.5 minutes to arrive), trek out to my car in the garage, unload my baggage and climb into the driver's seat, I will be faced with an entirely new set of items on my To Do list.

Seems that here lately no matter how much I accomplish during the workday I still have more to accomplish when I get home. Now I know I'll receive no sympathy from those with kids, live-in parents, or invalid pets. I know my responsibilities are light compared to most. And knowing this gives me some sort of good-vibration-kind-of feeling. However I still feel a bit overwhelmed these days and I think it's a matter of my non-committal (refusal to plan ahead) nature catching up with me. Can a 30 yr. old change her ways? What if she doesn't really want to?

Anyway, I think of how my car needs gas (I've been running on empty like it's my job) and then I think of how much that will cost. I think of how the litter box most definitely needs changing and that will be another expense when I head to the store for supplies. I think of how I need (and oddly enough, WANT) to go to the gym tonight but that might use up the last few drops of gas in the old Jeep. I think of how I really don't want to eat my dinner out of a box again but I don't know that I have any other options in the house. I think of how my car taxes are due, my fridge is empty, my laundry is dirty, my deck is still unstained, my paint is peeling, and my mind swirls with responsibility. For the gal that thinks of herself first more often than not this is a new stage in life. And I'm not quite sure I like it. I'm certainly sure I didn't sign up for it.

So I stick my head in the sand and keep on typing. I think part of my weary brain actually believes the longer I sit here the longer I don’t have to take responsibility for everything left on my list. And maybe, just maybe, if I sit here long enough, said responsibilities will one by one disappear. Don’t talk to me about logic…that part of my brain shut off years ago. For now I’m going to get back to my workload and I will complete many important tasks for my employer. I will convey to co-workers far and wide that I have got it all together while the other departments of my life fall spectacularly apart. And in the midst of it all, my tried and true nature comes forth again…and I can’t help but think all will be okay. All tasks will be completed. All commitments will be met. All loose ends will come together. Why? Because they always have. And that "non-committal (refusal to plan ahead) nature" we talked about earlier makes it possible to focus on idealistic, dream-like thoughts such as little fat kittens, fresh snow, and smooth-sailing through life despite the fact I don't have the faintest idea what I'm doing.

Maybe it’s good that the logical side of my brain shut off years ago.

MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL

You say you will never forget where you were when you heard the news On September 11, 2001. Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it is OK..I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed breakfast to their children. I held her up as she tried to understand his words and as she realized he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said. 'Of course I will show you the way home - only believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest ministering to the injured and devastated souls. I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat, with every prayer. I was with the crew as they were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the believers there, comforting and assuring them that their faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan ... I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news. Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath. Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me. But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You may not know why, but I do. However, if you were there in that explosive moment in time, would you have reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey for you. But someday your journey will end. And I will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are 'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Dinner in a box

I'm wondering if I should be discouraged or ashamed that tonight my dinner came from a box, about the size of a gospel tract written in an oversized font. As I was listening to my stomach growl I decided to see what my cupboards contained in the way of food. Not surprised, I didn't find much. But I did find a box of processed chicken and veggies, wrapped so air tight that (according to the box) it did not need to be refrigerated. And even though I know said box of food has been in my cabinet for over a year, I proceeded to nuke the heck out of it. I went ahead and pulled out a bottle of BBQ sauce just in case and I waited for the turntable to stop. It smelled OK so I figured it was safe to try. I'm now typing this post approx. 20 minutes after eating the entire meal without much distress. We'll see if my choice was a wise one in about an hour or two.

All of this to say, I find it somewhat concerning that here, at the ripe old age of 30, I am still living as if I am a poor college student without two nickels to rub together. Is it due to my refusal to plan ahead? To commit to any set path? To grow up? Or is it just one of those things that all folks go through and in time will pass for even me? I'm not sure. But even in the midst of my increasingly tight budget, I give thanks. Thanks that I had a mysterious box of food to heat up...some do not. And though I have my moments, I have to admit and give praise for my God has never failed me. No. Not once.

My personal testimony

I stepped out on faith alone when I was only 5 years old. It sounds like such a big step for such a small person to make, but with the Lord leading my way, I was able to follow. My parents love the Lord and both made it a priority to rear my sister and myself to love and follow Christ. I thank God for them and for their direction both then and now. I vividly remember the day I answered God’s call to become His child. I was with my family and it was after our devotional time that I realized the Holy Spirit’s working in my heart. Being just a child, I did not know the right words to say but my prayer was that of complete humility and surrender. I knew no other way to pray. That is one of the beauties of having the faith of a child. I asked God to forgive me for being a sinner and I asked that He let Jesus come live in my heart. I gave over my life to Christ in that moment.

Of course, as I aged, I grew to believe my ways were best. I strayed from God’s leading and tried to forge my own path in this life. More than once I realized I was fighting a losing battle and asked for grace and mercy again. And each time I was given both. As I have reached adulthood, I have realized now more than ever, how important it is to let God direct my thoughts and actions. And I try to dedicate my footsteps daily.

My mind immediately draws on what I know to be a blessed life. I should not be amazed at how wonderfully the Lord weaves our lives together but I cannot help but stand in awe of His perfect plan. I am blessed. I have a wonderful family. I want for nothing. I have experienced love, both giving and receiving. And I know things “the angels long to look into.” Not only has God bestowed his mercy on me, by not giving me what I deserve, which is death. But He has also given me abundant grace, by giving me what I don’t deserve, and that is a wonderful earthly life, full of blessings, and most importantly, forgiveness and life everlasting.

Others say it better than I. But that is yet another worry I do not have to claim as my own. God knows my heart. He knows my struggles. He knows me, for I am His child. The life my Lord has given me is a testimony in and of itself. Once I was dead. Now I live.

“As for me, I will call upon God; and the Lord shall save me. Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and He shall hear my voice.” Psalms 55:16-17

Welcome

Ok so I really have no desire to blog. But that must not be entirely true because here I sit, typing my first post, on a blog I just set up in my name. This may be the first and last post to my blog but I'm not going to back myself into a corner. Anyone who knows me knows I don't do commitments. So I will neither commit to posting on a regular basis nor will I commit to scheduled neglect. As with every other area of my life, we'll just see what happens.