God is Not Shaken

Lately I have felt especially tied to a recently released song, played rather frequently on local Christian radio. The lyrics that affect me most are as follows:

"I am sinking in the river that is raging
I am drowning
Will I ever, rise to breathe again
I wanna know why
I just wanna understand
Will I ever know why?
How could this be from Your hand?

When every little thing that I dream of being just slips away like water through my hands
And when it seems the walls from my beliefs come crashing down like they’re all made of sand
I won’t, let go of You now
because I know, oh, You’re not shaken

I am trembling in the darkness of my own fear
All the questions with no answers
So grip me while I’m here
And I may never know why
Oh I may not understand
But I will lift up my eyes,
and trust this is Your plan."

And I'll be honest, my focus has been more on the statement that every dream seems to slip like water through my hand. The focus has not been on the point of the song: I will trust all is part of God's plan. I will not let go of my faith because God is not shaken by these events that seem to rock me to the core.

Because my focus has been more on myself than on Christ I have slipped into an uncomfortable, sad state over the past few days. Of course I do well to hide my feelings and I choose not to discuss my troubles with those around me for I know in the light of all that is truly important, my heartbreak is not.

Today, God reached out and changed my point of view. After receiving a copy of a letter an old friend sent to another in order to share the wonderful work of Christ shown in her life, I found myself on the receiving end of a mighty slap in the face. God used the witness, designated for another, to break my heart again. The words of my friend rebuked me. The joy she feels and the fulfillment she has been blessed with are both directly tied to the active placing of Christ as first in her life. The details of from where God has brought her match mine, almost verbatim. She is a living testimony of the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit.

Granted God has been(and continues to be)working in my heart and I am a far cry from where I once was. There only by the grace of God. However, my frustrations have grown drastically in the past week due only to the fact my trust has been misplaced in myself. I know better and I've learned many times, the hard way, that I will always let myself down. My focus has been on me and I have continually stumbled. Christ has not been truly first in my life for a long time.

But isn't it just like God to use an unexpected email, written for another, to bring us back to Him? Isn't is just like God to send a friend, a sister in Christ, our way when we need encouragement the most? Isn't it just like God to place His word in front of our eyes even when we refuse to take time to study it on our own? Thanks to God's working through my friend, I was reminded once again that God loves me and constantly pulls me to Himself whether I drag my feet or not. I thank God for this.

I can't begin to count the many times I have felt a tangible drawing of my heart to Christ over the past year or so. Once again my sadness and fears are being drowned out by the calming whisper of my Lord. He is preparing me for His work. I am still unaware of what this work may be but there is no doubt in my mind He is still prodding me to move. He is gently reminding me keep my eyes on Him and not on the rising water surrounding me. He is offering me the hand of the Almighty while I grasp for anything to hold on to.

I realized today how blessed I am to have fellow disciples of Christ in my life. For when I lose my focus, God uses all His resources to point my way back to Him. Sometimes those resources consist of a random email written for another. Blessed be the name of the Lord. And no matter how easily I feel the world crumbling under my feet, I am a child of God. I am held securely in His hand. And no, my God is not shaken!