I've turned into my mother

I'm not sure how or when but I think I have turned into my mother. Well maybe not completely (though it wouldn't be a bad thing) but I have definitely absorbed some of her behaviors and/or habits.

While sitting in my office (a cube with 1/2 walls on 3 sides) this afternoon I am fighting the urge to grab a certain co-worker by the nape of the neck and hurl him as far as I can out the 7th floor window. He should count himself lucky these windows do not open. He should fear the stairwell.

Apparently said co-worker has bought a new toy at the store up the street and he is playing, breaking, or simply trying to open it. He has been trying to complete this task for the past half hour. I wonder what I'm doing wrong to have a pile of work to do when obviously there are others within the department that have more than enough free time. This is a side note. Anyway the sounds coming from his "office" are that of slowly ripping a plastic wrapper open. Yes. For half an hour I have heard these sounds. Every now and then the sounds will stop and I can't help but hope he gave up. Turns out, he's just confused by the child proof protection. Then the tearing of plastic resumes and my hair stands on end.

I think I might need to up the intensity of my workout tonight because the rage I feel in this moment is very real. This brings me to my point. Up until now I have done an excellent job of constraining my behavior to a few glances over my shoulder and a few loud sighs. This is in spite of the strong urge to plant my stapler square in the middle of his forehead. Granted the glances and the sighs are becoming more and more frequent and until I began this post I did not realize I was even doing it. This makes me think of my mother.

More than once my mother used (and still uses) this technique of glancing and sighing in church, restaurants, and any other mixed (us and all those other than us) group event. Usually it is directed at the parents of a screaming (or annoying in any way) child. Sometimes it is directed at a loud conversation or an obnoxious habit such as chewing gum loudly. I never notice that this action taken by my mother yields the result she desires but it somehow makes her feel better. And even though more often than not those around her never notice that she takes issue with them, it is as if she is no longer taking what those around her hand out but she is taking a silent stand.

I find myself taking the same silent stand today and this is what leads me to note I am very much like my mother. Surely my co-worker has noticed my backwards glances. Surely he has heard my sighs of disapproval. No. He continues to slowly unwrap the plastic around his new toy and with each click and each tear I feel my neck grow tighter. This is perhaps where the similarities between my mom and I end. Where Mom would be content to continue her alternating technique of glance, sigh. Glance, sigh. Glance, sigh. I have grown tired of a failing method and I am soon to sign off and return to my original plan of tossing his skinny butt down the stairwell.

I can't help but wonder if I should glean such enjoyment from the thought of crushing someone's new toy and making a grown man cry.