Degree of Trust?

Just now, I found myself searching the internet for a friend's blog. I couldn't remember the address and I hadn't saved the site in my favorites. So I typed in what I could recall (which led me no closer to the goal) and was inundated with results. One of the results was a site that yielded links to blogs upon blogs that held promise of matching my search criteria. I think it's safe to say none of them actually did. However, one entry caught my eye and before I knew it I was skipping down an unmarked rabbit trail.

As I read the blog entry, which was assumedly about Christianity, I was immediately heartbroken. No, I take that back. First, I was angry. Then I was heartbroken. The thoughts expressed on this stranger's page were baffling. Misconceptions like the following: All religion is bad, therefore all faith is bad. Christians are nothing more than judgmental hypocrites. Why can't the world be more like Buddha? etc. caused me to question how anyone could ever arrive at the same conclusion. This poor misguided heart actually thinks they have it right. They think by advocating acceptance of all religious paths yet, trusting in none they are well on their way. They believe that a god is in all of us regardless of faith or lack thereof. They hold to a lie, told by the Father of Lies, that no matter the condition of their soul, they are every bit as entitled to enter Heaven as the Son of God. Thoughts such as these caused (and will continue to cause) an anger to rise up in me that is almost frightening. I am quite laidback by nature but I found myself resisting the urge to point out just how idiotic these "beliefs" are. Realizing that would not be the proper response, I withheld my righteous judgment. Please note the sarcasm in that last statement. I bent my strong will to assert what I know to be true and I bowed my head to pray. Because I do know how anyone could arrive at the same conclusions...they have not the Spirit of God in them. Their vision is clouded if not eclipsed. They are hell bound.

As I prayed for this lost person and all those who follow, I became anxious. Even as I made a poor attempt to communicate with God the Almighty, thoughts of worry polluted my mind. What is this world coming to? What will happen if we continue on this path? What, as Christians, can we do to stop this spiral into hell? Honestly, to say we are near the end times is no longer accurate. In my opinion, we are there. As I approached my King on behalf of others, Satan attacked with these unnecessary reservations. *(As a side note, I realize now more than ever I must be on guard at all times. Even in prayer, evil rises up in me.) Back to my point. As I confidently asked the Lord to open the eyes of this outsider, I wrestled with doubt. How can I believe without hesitation my God is powerful enough to call this stranger to Himself, yet I worry this world is too evil, too far gone to be helped? How can you hold to one idea and to the other? How can I hold on to my faith and my disbelief at the same time? The point is, I can't.

Oswald Chambers once said, "Faith is complete confidence in the character of God..." Either your confidence is complete or it isn't. Either you have it or you don't. Either I trust God entirely or I don't. There is no middle ground. Faith isn't calculated in degrees. There is no scale when it comes to measurement of belief. Do you believe? "Yes!" Do you believe? "No." As much as some folks would like to claim it, "Maybe" isn't an option.

Wondering how to put words to my thought process (which I recognize as being all over the place now), I went to my daily devotional. I found the following message: Overcoming Anxiety The last sentence convicted me most. "We may be in the midst of hard times and wondering where the good is. Do not lose hope. God is sovereign and true to every one of His promises (2 Cor. 1:20)." Just as He orchestrated my day so that the message just referenced would be received when I needed it most, God is in complete control at all times. Do I believe it? Absolutely. Then why do I question it?

The lessons learned through one stray click of a mouse are priceless. By straying to a page never before seen, God spoke to me and pointed out more than one much needed message. As I judged others for their blindness to the truth, He gently reminded while praying for their salvation, that I too am often blind to my own sin. Even now as I type an incorrect thought flows through my brain with little to no resistance..."Yeah but my sin isn't as bad as THEIRS." In a brief 5 minute period, while reading another's blog, I judged (with anger) a fellow sinner's state of affairs. I elevated myself above them in my mind though I am just as depraved. I viewed myself as superior though I know full well the phrase "There but by the grace of God, go I" has never been more true. I prayed for them with doubt in my heart. I questioned my God's ability to extended His saving hand to them. I was a fool.

To wrap up this convoluted and perhaps bewildering page of thoughts, I will share the reminder that I must speak for my own benefit daily...Satan may be adapt but my God is absolute. Repeat it if necessary. Satan may be adapt but my God is absolute! Whether you fret over the condition of a single soul or whether you agonize for the future of this world, know that our God is Sovereign. And believe with your whole heart, holding on to no doubt, we can place every bit of our faith in that. Either you trust God...or you don't.